Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
