I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
