I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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