Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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