garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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