ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
