well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
