Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
