She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
