Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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