Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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