flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
