So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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