Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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