I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
