Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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