98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
