some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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