If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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