New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
