$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
