We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
