I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
