I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
