one two three fourrrrnication!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
