Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
