you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
