dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize