I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
