girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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