You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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