we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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