Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
