I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
how does that bad decision feel?
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