..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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