girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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