you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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