New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
