Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
