omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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