I hate all girls vehemently.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Boobs speak an international language.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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