She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
