Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
