with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
