And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
His nipple licking is glorious
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