Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
