In the future we'll all be gay
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
