if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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