What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Alive.
So much puke
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A bitchslap is in order.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
