White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
