oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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