Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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