God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
