You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
