Where did you get a picture of my penis
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
