His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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