i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
