I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
