and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
