Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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