What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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