sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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