Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
