epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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