so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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