i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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