Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
