Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
