Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if i died would you start the facebook group?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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