it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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