I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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