Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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